I’m on a mission. To help more couples experience mutually
enjoyable relationships which includes mutually enjoyable sex!
The first part of that sentence may have piqued many women’s
interest (great relationships) while the last part (mutually enjoyable sex) was
what the men heard. But what if couples
could enjoy great relationships and great sex? I believe it possible to enjoy
BOTH aspects. Not only am I personally enjoying it my OWN life but I have
helped other couples experience it as well.
So what’s my story? I’m
so glad you asked.
I was in a marriage for 20 years which was devoid of both
aspects, a good relationship and great sex. It wasn’t because I didn’t try, I
did. I spent the entire time reading
everything I could about what to do to make a relationship work. I went to Bible Studies and Marriage
Seminars. We went to counseling for over 10 years. I prayed. I read my
Bible. I tried to change myself. I tried to do everything I could to make him
happy and make it work. And yet it didn’t.
It took several years for me to get out of the negative
mindsets I had a grown up with (e.g. “Divorce is the ultimate sin. Premarital
sex is forbidden. And happiness is not something we are ever allowed to
experience.”)
After “breaking all of the rules” I had grown up with, I am
now experiencing the kind of relationship I always dreamed of. I am with a man I totally respect, admire and
enjoy spending time with. He values
self -improvement as much as I do and is always doing whatever he can do to be
the best he can be. He values, respects
and adores me and is equally attracted to me.
He allows me to be ME, yet challenges me to continue improving in all
areas of my life. He compliments me (yet
never uses false flattery). He has taken care of me physically when I was at my
worst. He has allowed me to shine in my own brilliance, even when I have to give
others my attention instead of him. He is confident in my desire to only be
with him so he wastes no time on jealousy. He has a very strong self-esteem so
I do not have to try and love him enough to heal him. He is secure with himself
and our relationship so we spend no time on insecurity, jealousy or sabotaging each
other. He is fully capable of living without me, yet I add a new dimension to
his life which he says he can’t live without.
He will listen to me for hours while I share everything I have learned
or experienced. He can then add his own insight. We can have intellectual conversations in
which we both learn new things. He has
been there for me when I needed him. He has helped me through selling my house,
moving, losing a job, making my career goals come true and parenting my
children.
So he meets all of my “emotional and relational” needs for
the kind of relationship I was desiring.
And yet, he meets every one of my sexual fantasies!
I’ll admit, some of us women get so caught up in what we
want in a “relationship” that we tend to forget about the whole “sexual” aspect
of a relationship.
That is NOT the case for me.
For the first time in my life, I get how important sex is in
a relationship!
Like many women, I grew up with all of the lies such as “all
men are pigs and they only want one thing” and “sex is our way to manipulate men into getting
whatever we want”.
Men, I apologize to you for those lies. I am on a mission to help change those
negative views on men and sex.
At age 48, I am not ashamed to say I have become a certified
nymphomaniac. Well maybe I’m not “certified”.
I’ve never taken a class or passed any exams, yet I can’t get enough sex
with my Hunka-Hunka-Burning-Love! And he
can’t get enough of me. We are
insatiable!
If I could bottle him, I think I would be a billionaire. He is the most amazing lover. I knew the very first time we “played” (we
view sex as our adult way to play) and it lasted 3 hours that he was something
special. Not only does he do everything
he can to please me out of bed, but once we are there, he goes beyond what a mortal
man would do to please his woman.
Our play is beyond good.
It is so good I feel guilty keeping all of our secrets to
ourselves. After one time we played and
it was so amazing, I thought to myself, “Someday I want all of my children to
experience love making to be this good”. But how will they know if someone
doesn’t share the secrets with them? I
wouldn’t expect them to know how to be a Doctor if someone didn’t teach them
what they need to know.” So why do we expect our kids to be great lovers with
no instruction.
With the encouragement of MY MAN, I wrote a book entitled, “How
To Get Out of Your Head So You Can Enjoy More Pleasure in Bed” so I can share
all of our secrets of enjoying both a great relationship and amazing sex.
This is not a porn site, yet if you stick with me, you may
learn how to become your lover’s porn star!
Stacy Rothenberger
Certified Intimacy and Mindset Coach, Communication
Disorders Expert, CLC, MS. CCC-SLP
